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Holy and horny

Holy and Horny: how to manage your sexual urges as a single Christian

 

Holy and Horny – managing your sexual urges as a christian single

Sexual desires are real. Each of us experience them from time to time. In fact it is one of the main temptations we are constantly bombarded with during the majority of our adult life. Interestingly not many sermons are preached to help us overcome them. We are told not to have sex before marriage; we are told that we will not get to heaven (or conversely we will go to hell) if we do, but we are not given real practical guidelines of how to control these powerful and sometimes overpowering emotions.

Take Lystra. She grew up in the church. Was part of the worship team; was a youth leader and was considered one of the shining example of what a christian should be. Every body was shocked when Lystra fell pregnant. No one thought she was involved in immoral practices. I am sure you can think of examples of people who were either caught out or became pregnant that you never thought were doing it. In fact you would have heard of pastors, preachers, priests and pew members who were found doing immoral acts in one form or another.

We are living in sex saturated society. Temptation is all around us. On the radio, TV, internet, books and magazines, even in the church. I was surprised when one young lady told me that she had advances from one of the senior members of the leadership team. Another man revealed that some ladies from the church were making sexual advances on him. Wow – that is a lot of pressure. In addition to that, the way some women dress in the church can be very distracting to say the least.

Without any external pressure we will still be tempted sexually.

Why? Because we were created as sexual beings. In the beginning God created males and females. He commanded that we should be fruitful and multiply. To do that he gave us the fun and enjoyable process of sex. He put within us hormones that would make us feel horny and attracted to each other. This will cause us to come together sexually and reproduce tiny humans like ourselves. How wonderful. He however recommended that all this should happen within the confines of marriage.

The Bible is saturated with warnings against fornication and adultery. Here is a partial list of some of the texts:

 Part 2


1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5  For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Galatians 5:19 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,

1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.

Ephesians 5:5 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Colossians 3:5 Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry
Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

7 Ways to overcome sexual temptations

Part 3

In Bible times they solved the problem of sexual immorality by marrying young. I was very surprised when I found out that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was only in her teens when she had Jesus. She was getting married as a teenager. The Bible also speaks about “… The wife of your youth.” in several places. The problem in modern society is that most people are waiting until after they get qualification and career before they consider marriage. That is usually in their late 20’s or early 30’s. That means they are spending most of their fertile adults years as singles.

Mark Regnerus author of “The forbidden fruit” revealed that much of the Evangelical young people are involved in sexual activities. That is not helpful.

Here are several suggestions to help you manage your sexual urges.

1.Admit and accept that you are a sexual being who has sexual urges
2.Pray for the power of God to help you overcome temptation that come to you from time to time.
3.Become aware of the things that activate your passion and manage them
4.Guard the avenues of the soul. Avoid seeing, reading and hearing things of sexual nature that will cause your to unnecessarily think about sex
5.Set standards and boundaries that will you will not cross
6.Think of the consequences of your actions. These can include not getting to heaven, spoiling reputation of God, the church, your family and you.
7.Get and accountability partner. Someone you have to report your actions to.

If you will like an practical suggestions and help to overcome temptation feel free to get

Holy and Horny? Do you agree, disagree? Put your comments in the box below

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Comments

  • Holly Rafford
    September 25, 2016

    I am 48 and past my child bearing days. Why should I believe in God for a spouse? I have been horrny as hell and have to realize, I will not have a family. I have been onnmh own forever. I have a collfe degree and have worked in the logistics/transportation discipline in various capacities.
    I do not believe anymore.

    • Holly Rafford
      September 25, 2016

      Oops. I should not be typing in the morning.

    • Victoria Eustace
      December 20, 2016

      I’m sorry Holly. I can’t imagine the pain that you are going through. May God strengthen and encourage you and give you joy in good friendships. May He renew your faith.

      • Zach
        May 17, 2017

        Please do not give up God sometimes makes us wait some times his plan is a long time. It can happen in fact it does happen. It is not impossible

      • David Dods
        January 19, 2019

        Friendships?!?!!!!! Really – how does address the fact that she is horny?? Be realistic.

    • Tia
      February 7, 2017

      It’s still not to late.

    • Viola
      June 1, 2017

      It’s extremely hard I am a 31-year old woman and I’ve never had SEX. Sometimes I feel frustrated and even mad at God because I feel it’s unfair that I go through this. I say to God okay I get that you don’t want me to have sex before marriage, but where is the husband that I have been praying to you for night and day??? Sometimes I just feel like giving up and just having sex so badly I want to release, but I guess I think about the consequences and that keeps me from going through with it.

    • Ann
      December 5, 2018

      Oh I am very touch my you, but it’s that too late my dear have faith make a bold move of faith on go for it, white man black man just get one he ain’t coming to you go get him.

    • Brian Porter
      September 20, 2019

      Know that Gos has not given up on you. I know it’s hard as heck especially when sexual urges are high…
      Having God in our life doesn’t take away temptation but but He helps us navigate through the temptation.
      @bridavi88
      davidbdp35@yahoo.com

  • December 9, 2016

    I am 15 yr old male. I do not talk to girls much and do not have a girlfriend as I feel I will get married in the future.
    I have masturbated in 2 weeks and I find it hard not to I am getting tempted to but I have not fell in to temptation since the two weeks. What should I do because to stop my sexual urges because I am strong christian I condole masturbation?

  • Victoria Eustace
    December 20, 2016

    Tips are helpful. Thank you for sharing. I’m 22 and choosing purity. It’s hard at times. Pressing into Jesus. I would add that having good examples helps. My 3 older sisters were virgins when they married their husbands, for which I am thankful for their example of purity to me.

  • Jamall
    May 27, 2017

    Please pray for me as I leave my life of sexual impurity and go toward a live of chastity in Jesus name. I long for a wife to share my life with but I am excited about this life of abstinence that I have dove into. I’m excited shout the blessing i will receive from God for being a pure hi man. Thank you Jesus for a changed life.

  • Devine
    August 17, 2017

    Words are easily said than done. Im 41, single mother of 3 & a christian & was married twice. My 2nd huby died of cancer 3 months after we got married.

    Now its been yrs & im human, I feel horny, I need some1 but I cant get married again for the 3rd time. My kids are grown up, 21, 18 &15 their father my first huby also died 6 years after our divorce.

    Now wat do I do wen im horny. Masterbating is a sin, dating married men is a sin, sex out of marriage is a sin but nature still calls

    • JRO
      December 5, 2017

      I so understand. I am married and in my 60’s. We got married two years ago and then she was diagnosed with a life altering disease. She never has interest in sex and is dealing with pain. I have not had sex in over a year and a half.
      I don’t know what to do.

      • John
        May 6, 2018

        The Bible does not say masturbation is a sin
        Lusting after someone, especially someone who is married is a sin
        The only story people use to say God doesn’t like masterbation is genesis 38, Onan agrees to marry his brother’s widow but on wedding night basically says to her. This is as close as your going to get to having sex. He was a jerk. He wasn’t single and he wasn’t married with a ill wife. So Gods response in this story is no reflection on masterbating. God did proclaim him a jerk.

    • didi
      July 24, 2018

      U need to get married all the same, but pray to God to reveal the true person to marry, speak into your life that your next husband will not die in jesus name

    • Brian Porter
      September 20, 2019

      I’m not sure why you feel you cant get married again..
      No matter what’s happened God doesn’t consult our past to determine our future

      @bridavi88
      davidbdp35@yahoo.com

  • Bukola
    September 5, 2018

    It never too late,if God can remember serah n her old age he will do it dont loose faith because it the key to your breakthrough truly it not easy ,but his plan for us is of good and not of evil to have an expected end

  • Nya
    June 13, 2019

    I recently re-dedicated my body to Christ because I’m serious about pursuing righteousness. I want so badly to be married… and loved by a good man.
    My past is so sordid. I have carried so much shame and guilt for so long! I believe I’ve surrendered it all to Jesus, but at 27 and single with no kids and no prospects, I honestly fear the possibility that it may never happen. I try to work on myself and forgive myself and submit my pain, frustration, and urges to Jesus.

    • Brian Porter
      September 20, 2019

      Never say never.
      God has a timing for everything. You may think a pie is ready to be be taken out the oven just because its brown on the outside, but in the middle it’s still cold.
      Use this time to work on you. Your Boaz is coming

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