Are you looking for a christian relationship?
Here are 6 steps that will help you discover your potential christian spouse.
1. Be intentional
One girl told me she is confused. Confused about whether God wants her to remain single or get married. I told her if God has not directly spoken and directed her otherwise, Gods default position for everyone is to get married.
God said “It is not good for man ( and woman) to be alone.” If you feel the desire and urge to meet and marry someone then you should pursue the goal just as you would a job, career, house and education.
Like all other life’s goals, you need to set goals, milestones and take action towards achieving it.
Does that mean you should not let God give you a spouse? Of course not, an integral part of part of the process it to allow the Spirit of God to guide and direct you.
Take the example of Abraham and his servant. When they decided to get a wife for Abraham they not only prayed but acted on their intentions of achieving this goal.
They knew what type of woman they wanted and had some sort of time frame in mind and place where to start looking.
Read the story in Genesis 24.
So make a firm intention to get a help meet and possibly where you might meet/find such a person along with a time frame for it to happen.
Then talk to God about your desires and listen to his responses to you.
2. Understand why God created relationships
Most people in modern relationships simply want to be happy. hence there is a mad search for someone to make them happy.
Contrary to popular opinion relationship we were not just designed to make us romantically happy. This is just a by product of a good christian relationship much like nutritious food taste wonderful but we don’t eat for good taste, we ideally eat to get nutrients to make our body healthy.
The primary purpose of a relationship is to reflect the image of God. The better we relate to each other the more we really reflect who and what God is, for God is love.
Secondarily we are made to serve each other and bring out the best in each other. The Bible says it is not good for man/woman to be alone so God made a help meet. Or a helper that is suitable to him/her.
When you get a relationship your goal is really to contribute to the development and growth of the person so that they become better. Many feel that the only purpose for getting someone is to make them happy and fulfilled. They give no thought of what they need to do to contribute to the relationship or the other person.
The third reason for relationship is to have, rear and develop children.
Be fruitful and multiply God told Adam and Eve. The best and most conducive environment for children is in a home with 2 loving parents.
3. Know what you want in a relationship
When Abraham decided he wanted a wife for Isaac he was clear that he did not want any of the Canaanite women.
This was not because they were not pretty, or well behaved or even moral. I am sure there were nice and respectable girls around. However they did not worship the God he served. One of the deal breakers for Abraham was that Isaac’s wife must not be from the pagan Canaanites.
Similarly you need to know what you would not have in a relationship as a christian. Some examples would be that you will not have a relationship with a non-christian even if s/he is the nicest person you have ever met. Not sharing your christian faith is a deal breaker.
Along with things they must not have (or be), you need to be clear about what they need to have. Sorry to say but even Christians can have bad habits and tendencies.
These are what I call requirements. What must they have to for you to be satisfied, happy and contented in the relationship. Having or working to develop the fruit of the Spirit would be a good start.
The Servant of Abraham wanted the prospective wife to be kind and hospitable. He wanted to get someone who can take the initiative and do what it to be done without being asked or told.
What would your potential mate to be able to do in order for you to be happy and satisfied in the relationship.
4. Show up
Many wonderful people exist but the world does not know of them simply because they may live in some remote corner of the earth.
Remember if there is buried treasure in a field and no one knows about, the treasure is virtually non-existent.
No matter how wonderful you are, if potential men or women do not know that you exist then there is no chance of you getting a relationship.
The servant of Abraham stationed himself near the well because that is the mostly place potential partners would show up.
Would could do to show up? Where can you show up so that potential mates will be able to find you.
If you struggle with where to find potential christian partners check out his useful resource.
5. Engage possible/potential
It is not enough to show up. You also need to interact and engage with people so that they could get to know the real you.
One quick and powerful way to engage people is simply to start an ordinary conversation. Everything starts through a conversation.
Say hi, introduce yourself and ask a question. You will be surprised that many other people are simply waiting for an excuse, any excuse to start talking to you.
The servant of Abraham planned, strategized and prayed for guidance.
Divine guidance is needed to help you through this complex, challenging and growth enhancing process. Ask the Spirit to give you discernment; asking to open doors or shut them according to what is best for you.
This combination of Divine and human effort will help to uncover the best person for a wonderful christian relationship.
To learn how to be discovered by the person God has for you check this out.