Relationship expert Hilton Samuel say what do “if no one seems interested”.
“I just don’t seem to be able to meet anyone, no one seems interested,” Charlotte’s eyes were dull with sadness, as she listlessly played with the drinking glass in her hand.
“You know I haven’t met anyone for over 10 months now. I just don’t seem to meet anyone who is interested in me,” she complained.
I quizzed her about what she has done to meet a prospective suitor, she did one thing in the last 6-8 weeks. It was was going with her friend Kirsty to a different church.
Even though the church was full of people no one made any attempt to speak with her. Non, that is except for Ted who was Kirsty’s boyfriend.
What to do if no one seems interested in you?
If you have a similar problem to Charlotte let me give you 5 ideas that will be able to help meet lots of interesting prospects with the next 8-10 weeks.
In fact I guarantee that if you actually practice these suggestions you will begin to have a different problem – what to do with the many interest people will be showing you.
- Talk to men
If men don’t talk to you or don’t seems to show interest in you then talk to them.
Make conversation with men of all ages and ethnicity.
I know there is some unspoken rule in church which says men aught to be the one who should make the first move. They should be the leader and at least start a conversation, if they are interested.
Many people think that if a man is interested enough he would make the necessary efforts.
I have even heard that if they are interested enough they would find some miraculous way to overcome their shyness and make the approach. If they don’t then maybe they are not really that interested.
Yes this sometimes happen, but not in all cases. Some men lose the chance of lifetime romance simply because they lack both the skill and courage to approach a woman.
The real truth is men are just as shy, terrified and petrified of being rejected as most women.
Sometimes they desperately would like to speak to you but don’t even know how or where to start.
So why not talk to men. Start conversations. Start ordinary conversation with people.
Before you freak out, let me say I am not asking you to start romantic conversations or propose to men. Just start ordinary conversations.
This gives many men the opportunity to engage with you if they are shy. Its an open door invitation.
“Oh I can’t possibly do that,” you say.
Ok don’t worry I am not asking you to do something that’s way outside you comfort zone.
Here is a simple way you can begin to talk to men in a way that is natural, normal and easy. And no, you will not get killed, jailed or burnt alive because you tried to talk to a man. In fact he will probably be very happy that you initiated the a conversation. You will not believe the number of men who would feel quite proud and honoured. Honoured that a woman starts speaking to him without having to risk his integrity to talk to her first.
- Become naturally curious about about men.
- Try to figure out what makes them tick.
- Ask yourself a number of questions that have secretly always bothered you but never had the guts to ask.
What is the easiest, quickest way to strike up a conversation with a men?
Smile and say “Hello/hi, how are you?
You will be shocked the 99% of men will respond very positively to you. In fact they may be secretly wishing for some cue to speak to you.
Then simply introduce yourself and ask him what is his name.
“I am Charlotte, what is your name?”
After this you can go in any direction that you want if he doesn’t take over. My suggestion is for you to prepare ahead of time a list of questions that can be easy subjects of conversation.
- Where are you from?
- Is is nice there?
- If I were to go there what are some of the tourist attractions I should see?
- What made you come here?
- How do you like it here?
- What do you like doing in your spare time?
- How did you get into that?
It is crucial that you share information about yourself too. You don’t want it to sound like an interrogation. Speak about where you are from and how you end up living in the current location.
It is crucial that you spend some and come up with a list of topics that is quite easy to converse about.
Do not wait – like most people do – until you are in front of someone to try and make conversation out of thin air. You will find – embarrassingly so – that you can get stuck for something to say, especially if you like the person.
If you want more engaging and deeper conversation that will stimulate the mind and give you a greater insight to the male mind then read on.
- Write a list of every questions that women tend to want to find out about men.
- Write questions you and your friends talk and debate about.
- Write questions about things you have heard people say about men.
- In other words create an informal survey.
Here are some suggestions.
- Why are men afraid of commitment?
- Do men like women who approach them first? What do you think about women who approach men first?
- How would you feel if your wife makes much more money than you?
- Is it true that men don’t like women who are too easy?
You may think that these are too personal to start a conversation, but don’t worry all you need to do is to say that you are doing some informal research to find out how modern men think.
Another approach is to choose a question and say that you and your friends have been discussing the issue and would like to get a male’s perspective on it.
Start by surveying men who are already in your social group. This could your brother, uncle, friend father or someone who goes to your church, class or club.
Have a general discussion with them about one of the topics and then ask them to recommend someone you can speak to. Take the recommended man and have another discussion and ask for another recommendation or two. Before long you will be speaking to a lot of men.
Well you might be thinking that these are not the men who you are interested in. It doesn’t really matter whether or not they are your ideal prospects at this point. What is important that you get accustomed to initiating conversation with men and feel comfortable about it.
- Start talking to men.
- Develop a natural curiosity about men.
- Start finding out how they think.
- What makes them tick.
The more you talk to men the easier it will be to talk with them. The more you find out about them, they more interested you will be in men.
The more interested you become in men, the more men will like talking to you. Eventually you will find that not only would it seem natural for you to talk to men, but men would naturally start talking to you too.
You will soon have a different problem. You will have too much men wanting to talk to you.