Biblical dating in a modern world
Should Christians date? If yes how?
How do you date Biblically in a Modern word?
Actually there seem to be a raging debate on dating methods for Christians. Books such as “I Kiss dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris and Scott Croft author of a series of articles boundless.org site, seems to favour what is known as the Courting model of dating. While speaker and author (Why courtship is fundamentally flawed) Thomas Umstattd Jr. thinks we should go back to old fashion dating.
(I am in the process of reviewing Thomas’ article. Please check black soon to see my video review)
Interestingly the Bible does not seem to favour any one method of finding a spouse. In fact there are a variety of methods people in the Bible found spouses.
- God matched Adam and Eve
- Abraham search for a bride for his son – parental involvement
- Ruth was mentored by her mother-in-law. Ruth proposed to Boaz – something many modern Christian women would never think of doing
- Samson went on his romantic feelings – this usually seem to turn out to be a disaster. But Jacob was motivated by his feeling for Rachel too but he approached her father.
Scott Croft has some really great insight in his series of articles on the topic. There are many gems but here is his summary of the difference between Biblical and modern dating
According to Scott modern dating:
- begins with either the man or the woman initiating with the other;
- is conducted outside the formal oversight or authority of either person’s family or church; and
- may or may not have marriage as its goal and is often purely “recreational” or “educational.”
He summarises the his finding beautifully with these observations
- Modern dating seems to be about “finding” the right person for me; biblical dating is more about “being” the right person to serve my future spouse’s needs and be a God-glorifying husband or wife.
- In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical dating, commitment precedes intimacy.
- The modern dating approach tells us that the way to figure out whether I want to marry someone is to act like we are married. If we like it, we make it official. If we don’t, then we go through something emotionally — and probably physically — like a divorce. In biblical dating, Scripture guides us as to how to find a mate and marry, and the Bible teaches, among other things, that we should act in such a way so as not to imply a marriage-level commitment until that commitment exists before the Lord.
Click here to read his full article